21 and Fearless: The Road to Self-Love and Big Dreams
Introduction
Hi friends! I'm sorry it's been so long. This month has been a whirlwind. Kicking it off with my 21st birthday celebrations in Miami, working six-day weeks, and prepping to begin my online school journey this week. If you've read my blogs before, you know I'm non-stop and always looking for ways to grow. My first month of being 21 has taught me that all possibilities are available to me, as long as I set my standards high. Driving to work yesterday, after getting off the phone with my mom (and venting about my dating life and feeling alone), she reminded me of my self-worth and the incredible love that already surrounds me through my friends. She also encouraged me to sit down and write a blog to remember how important my words are, so here we are! This new chapter is about turning 21, embracing significant life changes, and learning that growth, self-love, dreams, and high standards will lead me exactly where I'm meant to go. Setting high standards in relationships has empowered me to choose myself first and I hope it inspires you to do the same.
Learning Self-Love
Now, I know I did most of the work to love myself, but if it weren’t for my first real relationship, the first time I felt a genuine connection with someone, I don't think I would have realized how much love I truly deserve. At the time, I didn’t even see it, but looking back, that relationship set the standard for how I want to be treated. Was it perfect? Not at all. There was a lot of work needed on both sides, which is why I ultimately chose to remove myself from the situation. But now, a year apart from him and a year of being open to new connections, I’ve realized there’s so much more out there for me. I mean, how could I easily get over a guy who willingly got into the bath with my dog just to calm him down while I was studying for finals? Or the time he walked around an entire stadium just to meet my mom? Or him making us coffee every morning while we talked about life? Those moments showed me how deeply someone could care and shaped my understanding of love and what I deserve. Leaving that relationship gave me the space to explore new connections, to discover new things I liked that my ex never gave me, and also to recognize the little things I missed. Sitting back, piecing everything together, and spending quiet nights alone with my dog made me realize: there’s no rush, no timeline. My life is already good as it is. I won’t bring a man into it unless he is willing to grow with me, to be vulnerable, and to build something real. I’ve truly enjoyed solo dates and even third-wheeling with friends because I genuinely love spending time with myself. I’ve made a promise: I won’t date a guy unless he makes his feelings transparent and proud, not secretive, not hidden. Lately, I’ve noticed a trend where guys want to make you a "last choice," calling late at night after they’ve been out with friends, asking for a late hangout or a sleepover. But I love my beauty sleep, and honestly, my last straw was the night I was cuddling with Moose (my dog!) only to have a guy come over, barely engage, and then ghost me. That night reminded me: if they wanted to, they would. It also reminded me of my self-respect. How far I’ve come and how I won’t go back. Yes, it hurt, especially because I don’t easily let guys into my life after past experiences. It’s a shameful and disappointing feeling when you believe in someone and they prove you wrong. But my self-love journey this past year has taught me: I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. Silence speaks volumes. When someone chooses to disrespect you, don’t waste your time trying to change their mind. I’m grateful for the love I do have, my friends, who were just as upset as I was, reminding me that I am surrounded by real love every single day. And that’s the kind of love I deserve. Remember, self-respect is non-negotiable and it's what empowers us to choose ourselves first.
Observing Others and Growing
One of my greatest strengths is observation. Growing up with a mom who's a principal and a dad who's a detective, I was practically born to pick up on patterns and reflect on them. It’s also why I started this blog: to process, learn, and grow. Lately, I’ve felt more content than usual, and haven’t had the need to reflect as deeply. But with new relationships coming and going, I’ve had to remind myself of a few important truths. One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is the importance of vulnerability, a trait I once kept hidden. Looking back, I wish I had been more honest with my ex and let myself feel safe enough to express my true emotions. Over the past year, I've gotten so much better at sharing my feelings and opening up with the people who matter to me. When someone disrespects me by not reaching out after spending time together or avoiding important conversations, it tells me everything I need to know. I've learned that when a guy can’t be open emotionally, it’s time to walk away. I want my future partner to be someone who can talk about anything, laugh through the tough stuff, and accept me for who I am, sarcastic humor and all. I refuse to change myself to fit anyone’s idea of who I should be. Watching others struggle to find love has shown me patterns, and I’ve learned that embracing those lessons without repeating the same mistakes is a powerful thing. Above all, I’ve learned that respecting myself is the foundation of everything. Even when others don’t respect me, I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. So, to everyone reading this: trust your worth. Don’t let anyone dim your light, and never, ever apologize for who you are. Choose yourself, because you’re worth it. Remember, learning from others mistakes and standing firm in your own boundaries is a sign of wisdom. And that’s how we rise.
New Standards and Non-Negotiables
After my most recent interaction with a guy, I’ve made one thing clear to myself: no more late-night meetups with guys who treat me like an afterthought. No more last-minute texts. No more being put at the bottom of anyone’s priority list. I know my worth now, and I’m not settling for less. My energy is better spent on building my future, focusing on my career, and living life on my own terms. Living in Orlando has been a major shift from Toronto, mostly because of the "Disney World bubble" I find myself in. My free time is mostly spent with other cast members, and honestly, we joke that we could easily turn our behind-the-scenes lives into a reality TV show. The friendships, the drama, the moments that nobody outside of Disney gets to see, it’s been a whirlwind. But it’s also been an eye-opener. I've seen people stuck in the same routines, going to the same bars every weekend, and repeating the same cycles. After a year of that, I’m ready for something new. It’s time to step back into the real world and bring everything I’ve learned with me. I’m excited to get back to the city, focus on my studies, and hopefully continue working with Disney in new ways. I told my mom on the phone the other day, “I’m ready to be a businesswoman.” I’m ready to put on my pink pantsuit and take on the world. I’m excited for city happy hours, where I can meet people from all different industries and backgrounds, and every connection feels fresh and full of potential. If you’ve been following my journey, you know I grew up on rom-coms. I’ve always had expectations like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City or Andie Anderson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. But for now, I’m soaking up my last few months in Florida, cherishing the incredible friends I’ve made from all over the world. I am already planning Europe 2026: Norway, Italy, and France, to visit friends made during my time here! When I get back to the city, it’s time to lock in and dive headfirst into my next chapter. For now, I’m loving my single life, embracing how fun, vibrant, and full of potential I am. And I’m not wasting that energy on anyone who doesn’t make me a priority. I’m holding out for genuine effort, consistency, and emotional maturity. A new commitment to myself: if someone doesn’t meet my standards, they’re simply not for me.
Focusing on Dreams
If there’s one thing I’ve come to truly appreciate this year, living in Florida, it’s how proud I am to be Canadian. Being away from home for so long has only made me more eager to return. I never imagined I’d build a home in the city, but here I am, with a real community waiting for me and my studies in the Creative Industries program to look forward to. Reflecting on memories of walking down the city streets to school or heading to last-minute Blue Jays games with friends after work, there was always something exciting and unexpected around the corner. I don’t know exactly where the road will take me once I’m back: finishing my degree, finding a job in my career path, chasing my dreams, but I’m open to it all. Moving back to the city feels like reclaiming my independence, my career goals, and the friendships that have been waiting for me. I’m not letting old patterns, past relationships, or temporary distractions hold me back anymore. One of the best highlights this year was my 21st birthday trip to Miami, where I met some truly respectful guys. It was such a refreshing change. I had honest, intelligent, and funny conversations with men who had ambition and big goals, and who never made me feel judged or small. They showed me exactly the kind of man I want in my future: someone with ambition, individuality, and the confidence to dream bigger. This year has been full of lessons. I’ve met people who’ve shown me what real effort looks like in a relationship, and it’s made me realize even more clearly what I want and deserve. I’m no longer entertaining anything that feels halfway or hidden. I’m committed to pushing toward the future I want, moving forward with excitement, gratitude, and a whole lot of self-respect.
Surrounded by Love
After getting off the phone, once again venting about a man I thought had potential, my mom reminded me of something I truly needed to hear: “You are already surrounded by love.” Whether it’s family, friends, or "your girls," I have a network of people who support me and make me feel valued. She encouraged me to enjoy these final months in Florida, surrounded by friends I can be vulnerable with, laugh with, and share my stories with, the kind of love that’s real and grounded. I’m also surrounded by an amazing team of people I work with, who see me every day and are always the first to hear about my dating troubles. We’re all in this together, working long weeks and supporting each other through it all. They make me laugh, keep me grounded, and remind me that even on the toughest days, there’s always room for some light. Their support and understanding mean the world to me, and I’m beyond grateful to have them by my side. I’m young, and I have all the time in the world to find love, but after how I’ve been treated lately, I’m not rushing into anything. I won’t let another man in until I feel genuinely cared for and completely unashamed of who I am. I grew up around manipulative conversations, and after years of self-reflection, understanding my side of the story, and learning to own my truth, I now know I’ll never let anyone treat me less than I deserve again. There’s no rush for a relationship; love will come when the time is right. In the meantime, I’m focused on surrounding myself with people who lift me up and make me feel whole. When the right person comes along, they’ll have to match the love and respect that’s already in my life.
Conclusion
As I step into this next chapter of my life, I can’t help but reflect on the incredible growth I’ve experienced over the past year. The journey of prioritizing myself, embracing new beginnings, and learning to love myself truly has been nothing short of transformative. I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t come from external validation, it comes from within. The moment I stopped waiting to be chosen and started choosing myself, everything began to fall into place. I’m so grateful I stuck with my program, especially when, just a few months ago, I felt stuck and was ready to go home. But now, looking back, I see how far I’ve come. I’ve pushed through challenges, and as I begin my school journey again this week, I feel like I’m finally living the life I’ve always dreamed of. I’ve found a balance between my studies, career, and life in Florida, thriving in each area. This is the life I’ve worked so hard for, and I’m finally living it. This is my season of growth, where I’m focusing on my dreams, loving myself unapologetically, and stepping forward with confidence. Whether it’s building my future in the city, making meaningful connections, or holding out for real love, I know I’m ready for whatever comes next. I’m not waiting for someone to choose me, I’m choosing myself, and that’s the most powerful decision I could ever make. Here’s to the next chapter: full of ambition, joy, and endless possibilities. It’s my time to shine, and I’m ready to embrace it all.
